Get photos of all Bond girls’ faces as they appear today. Paste them on their swimsuited or otherwise scantily-clad Bond girl bodies of yore. Make giant cardboard cutouts and then film ourselves reenacting their respective movie scenes with their respective Bonds.
Restaurant commercial: Parents tell their kids that they’re going out for dinner. Kids act nervous and slightly annoyed, saying things like, “Can’t we just order out pizza?”. The parents insist that the kids wear their Sunday best. We see a two shot of the kids hearing this, sending a distressed look at each other, then back at their parents. Cut to a shot inside the car as they speed down the highway with tense action music playing in the background. We see more shots of the kids looking worried, sweating, etc. Finally, we see the red and white sign, the car pull in to the parking lot, an ecstatic look on the kids faces. Another two shot as the kids turn to each other and say in synchrony, “Thank God it’s TGI Friday’s!!!”.
Make a fake homepage for a non-existent grammar school that uses a revolutionary new teaching technique - everything is taught through chant. Student progress and performance is assessed by their ability to recall and recite their chants.
Website to include explanation of pedagogy, interior pictures of the school (weird interiors from random places), courses offered, teachers and their respective qualifications, and endorsements from satisfied students/parents or impressed educational opinionators.
2. Post something with a list of sleep numbers and html-ify the numbers so that when someone clicks on a number, the line “Soandso is a fan of sleep number X” shows up on their news feed (and that of all their friends.
'Grod is good, Grod is great, We thank you for this grod. Blants'
Chapter 1: Grod
Grundl groaned with pleasure as he snuffled into a tasty bowl of hot kippered groddle. He wiggled his snout in the steam puff that rose from the groddle’s toasted peaks.
'This grod is 2 hot 2 handle,' he declared as he gingerly removed his delicate tusks from the gourd full of sticky groddle curds.
'This story is really good,' said the Greedy Groddler. 'I should put this on my Tumblr and my Facebook page,' he continued. Then his mom walked in.
'Grundl! Get your paws out of that grodgourd and go brush your tusks. I need you to go downstairs and do some ridiculous chore or ridiculous thing!'
Grundl trundled out of the hut and into the black sunlight, which burned his coarse ropey fur. ‘Grundl! Grease yourself up before you go out,’ hollered his mother. He slouched back into the hut to fetch a bottle of monkey’s grease and slather it down his back before exiting the hut. This time, as he emerged, he smelled the monkey jelly sizzling in the sun, the stink caressing his nostrils like the first Christmas.
Chapter 2: At the Pool
When Grundl dove into the pool, shrimptail first, all the children screamed bloody murder. Adult Swim did not start for 20 minutes. The screams of children normally would not alarm a Greedy Groddler, but Grundl was a sensitive creature, and in the commotion he lost his grip on the iced beef Groddlepops, which sank to the bottom of the pool.
Apatow and Female, a very sensitive and PC film which will broaden the Apatow’s audience to include women
A meta-rom-com movie in which Apatow, playing himself, premieres some blokey film that somehow offends ALL of womenkind by accident. As a measure of public rehabilitation, the studio forces Apatow to make a film with Some Woman. Neither Apatow nor Some Woman are pleased about this, and in fact they can’t stand each other, but during the course of the film they work hard to meet each other in the middle and cobble together a rom-com movie. Hilarity ensues and maybe even LOVE? (Apatow in the end proposes to Female in a touching scene where he can’t remember her name but DOES remember to get the requisite minimum 2 carat diamond engagement ring.)
Apatow and Shemale, a very sensitive and PC sequel to Apatow and Female, which will broaden Apatow’s audience to include gays and non-whites
A movie about how Apatow, now married to Some Woman, who gives up her career in screenwriting to be a fulltime mother to Apatow’s brood, stumbles one day across Shemale (pronounced She-MAL-eh), on the street, mistaking Shemale for a run-of-the-mill prostitute. After discovering Shemale’s secret, the two must deal with the Hollywood press’ and the wife’s discovery of their developing clandestine friendship and maybe even LOVE? Then Apatow and Shemale become writing partners and write a film that outgrosses every Apatow & Female production ever made— AND Star Wars.
Apatow and Co., which will broaden Apatow’s audience to include the working man
Apatow is the ruthless head of a widget factory when his workers go on strike. He at first resists them and then realizes that the workers (who are played by everyone ever involved in every Apatow picture ever) have some great ideas that could be co-opted for use in a film about widget factory workers. So he fires all of them, closes the widget factory, liquidates the machinery, and puts all the money into financing a film about the factory and the widget workers’ woes. Starring himself as both the factory boss and the head of the union resistance. The film-within-the-film wins Best Picture, and then the film wins Best Picture. Geddit?
A video with people doing fake science-looking things (experiments), with heart-pounding, music playing in the background. Crescendo of music, then one of them shouts “it’s working!!!!” Kind of in the same voice as the kid in the trailer for Real Steel: “I think there’s a whole robot under here!!!”
Video. “The Polish Express” in which a French child gets on the wrong train, which takes him to Poland. Arriving at Warsaw, the child realizes his mistake and returns to France.
Animation. A beaver is building a dam in the middle of a stream. A TV floats down the stream and the beaver adds it to his dam. More TVs float down and are added until the entire dam is made of TVs. The beaver turns the TVs on, and a song-and-dance routine follows.
Animation. A beaver is building a dam in the middle of a stream. A beaver floats down the stream and the worker beaver adds it to his dam.
Video. NYC. A child on a leash being walked by a parent. Child approaches a tree, squats, relieves self. Parent with leash follows with disposable bag.
Video. 1) A family with a cat shining a laser on the wall while the cat throws himself against the wall repeatedly, following the path of the laser. The family is horrified at the cat’s willingness to throw self against the wall repeatedly and inability to learn that he cannot catch the laser beam. 2) Another family with a child shining a laser on the wall while the child throws himself against the wall repeatedly, following the path of the laser. The family is delighted and laughing at the child’s willingness to throw self against the wall repeatedly and inability to learn that he cannot catch the laser beam.